i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's just like the Real World with babies
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
