I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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