Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
its liver damage thursday
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
