kristin has been a bad kristin
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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