I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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