I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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