Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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