I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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