fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
