Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
