i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
