Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
