speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
