Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
