So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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