Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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