You work out of a Hotel?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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