can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
