sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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