think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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