those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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