You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize