Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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