lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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