i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize