i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.