Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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