i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver