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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

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• (909): View more from California

  and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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• (562): View more from California

  I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.

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