i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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