Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.

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  (301): Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me. (1-301): I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom. http://tfl.nu/1oh9
  Replies (39) Good night (3204) Bad night (677)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.

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  (206): he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff. http://tfl.nu/ss2c
  Replies (13) Good night (9274) Bad night (725)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now

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  (214): I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now http://tfl.nu/up7f
  Replies (18) Good night (4681) Bad night (1728)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  (815): I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night http://tfl.nu/p9mu
  Replies (5) Good night (1120) Bad night (2385)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.

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  (617): I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either. http://tfl.nu/ap8x
  Replies (6) Good night (2698) Bad night (858)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.

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  (405): You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join. http://tfl.nu/8ui9
  Replies (4) Good night (1859) Bad night (605)
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  (209): View more from California

  Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?

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  (209): Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that? http://tfl.nu/3r87
  Replies (9) Good night (2905) Bad night (474)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me

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  (512): Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me http://tfl.nu/ce08
  Replies (5) Good night (616) Bad night (1049)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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  (469): After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend. http://tfl.nu/7v59
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (405)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.

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  (914): She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/fvbm
  Replies (7) Good night (1222) Bad night (385)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn

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  (615): May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn http://tfl.nu/hucd
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (335)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom

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  (402): If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom http://tfl.nu/036d
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (234)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning

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  (816): took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning http://tfl.nu/ad92
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (281)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment

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  (608): Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment http://tfl.nu/9ful
  Replies (6) Good night (516) Bad night (283)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.

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  (406): My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college. http://tfl.nu/7goj
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (297)

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