Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..

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  (360): No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down.. http://tfl.nu/yoii
  Replies (15) Good night (1635) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love

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  (214): She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love http://tfl.nu/tjul
  Replies (51) Good night (20045) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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  (908): Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold http://tfl.nu/axfw
  Replies (24) Good night (6405) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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  (765): He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder. http://tfl.nu/7khc
  Replies (81) Good night (16979) Bad night (2865)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm you met him three days ago....

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said what I said

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  (267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0
  Replies (30) Good night (7586) Bad night (1671)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him

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  (310): I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him http://tfl.nu/a0ny
  Replies (14) Good night (4165) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

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  (563): I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished. http://tfl.nu/1qri
  Replies (10) Good night (5467) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs

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  (414): Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs http://tfl.nu/ace8
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.

  (904): View more from Florida

  So when does your new flight leave?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying

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  (734): Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight. (904): So when does your new flight leave? (734): At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying http://tfl.nu/33le
  Replies (8) Good night (1994) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams

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  (774): This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams http://tfl.nu/o9iv
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".

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  (727): No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die". http://tfl.nu/gpa4
  Replies (3) Good night (1337) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.

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  (920): Any clothing i put on is too many clothes. http://tfl.nu/ufgw
  Replies (8) Good night (1532) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (227): View more from Maryland

  I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.

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  (227): I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are. http://tfl.nu/7vs1
  Replies (4) Good night (1532) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation

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  (902): you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation http://tfl.nu/4hrf
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth

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  (732): Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth http://tfl.nu/jmpm
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (202)

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