I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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