On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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