And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
