We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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