Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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