I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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