There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
