How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Randomize
