I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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