i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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