So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
