she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
