My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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