is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
