it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
