apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
