'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
