the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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