Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
