she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
