I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Boobs are out for the taking
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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