Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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