Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
