maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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