Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize