I wanna bring you to show and tell
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just want to make out with him forever
My vagina is officially offended.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
