Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
