Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize