I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
