i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
