we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
