please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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