He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
